He's done, I'm done
by Fire Cronicle
Summary: Beca was, no is sorry, she tried apologising to him but he wouldn't accept, saying he's done. At this time a bottle whiskey sounds very appealing to the sad mind of Beca but she has a problem with calling people when she isn't... Right in the head.


AN: YES I KNOW ANOTHER STORY (QUEUE ROLLING OF THE EYES) IVE LATELY BEEN OBSESSED WITH THE JECA RELATIONSHIP AND LET'S BE HONEST WHO ISNT? AND YES THIS IS YET AGAIN ANOTHER HURT/COMFORT TYPE OF THING, YOU KNOW THE SELF HARM, PERSON/S FIND OUT AND TRY TO HELP PERSON WHO SELF HARMS. IN THIS CASE MY CREATIVE JUICES WERE FLOWING WITH THE SCENARIO WHERE BECA TRIES TO APOLOGIES BUT JESSE REJECTS HER. I ALSO REALISE THAT I GET OBSESSED QUITE EASILY WHEN IT COMES TO DIFFERENT TYPES OF MOVIES, TV SHOWS ECT. BUT I CANT HELP IT!

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO ENJOY THE STORY MY PEPS!

Beca's POV-

I stare in shock as Jesse slams the door in my face, it's done? Just like that? Done, that was the word he had used right? Never had that word brought so much sadness to my heart then in this moment. Gosh, if I could make Jesse push me away like that I must have messed up really badly. Standing outside his door a little bit longer I heard a small crash followed by Benji saying 'women' and Jesse agreeing. I've really messed up this time haven't I?

Walking back to my dorm I think it all over in my head, I know why I push people away, I do. It doesn't necessarily mean I want to share my life story with him though, even if that would have meant that he would have forgiven me. Some things are just better left alone. Like this. This was defiantly one of those 'never speak of it' things. Especially not to someone who now hates me, he'll run even further away than anyone else I've told because let's be honest I'm not worth the trouble.

When I get back to my dorm I check the door locked, I fished my pockets for my keys finding them with a successful jingle of the metal, I don't feel victorious I feel stupid, humiliated, and like I'm on the verge of crying. Quickly getting into my dorm I shut and lock the door, I immediately go to my fridge and get out the bottle of whiskey that I bought during spring break, despite getting it I wasn't going the drink it, but I've changed my mind. I need it, I need to be numb and this is the only way I know how to be exactly that. Taking the cap off I scull about a quarter of it before things start to get fuzzy. This is what I need, numbness, is that a word? Suddenly I am giggling uncontrollably, numbness is such a funny word, why haven't I noticed that before?

"Numbness," testing the word on my tongue I let out a high pitched giggle that normally would make me blush but no one is around to hear it, I look over at my computer and my giggle turns into a strangled sob, sitting on the top of my computer is the traitorous 'breakfast club' I take another swig of the whisky, desperately trying to block the memories. It's not working, I don't understand why isn't it working? This usually does, it worked with mark, why not with Jesse? At the thought of his name I scull another quarter of the bottle and go into the bathroom, grabbing my razor when everything went dark.

Groaning I sit up in bed, my head hurt like a bitch. What happened? Suddenly all of my questions are answered when I look to my coffee table, on it sat a completely empty whisky bottle, holy crap. What the hell happened? I try to sit up wincing at the pain that I feel in the tired bones but mostly the pain that I feel on my wrists and forearms. What the hell? Suddenly it all came back to me, Jesse. Me saying I'm sorry, him closing the door in my face. Me walking home. The whisky. The after math of said whisky. Looking down at my wrists to assess the damage. Confused to find my arms wrapped up in bandages, what. The. Hell?

Suddenly the door opens and Kimmy Jin is there staring at me with a softness in her eyes that has never been there before, it suddenly dawned on me that there was no way I would have cleaned my own self up and bandaged myself up, and the only person who has access to my dorm other than me is the other occupant: Kimmy Jin.

"Please don't tell anyone." What can I say I care about my dignity still, and I did not want her to go around telling all my fr- or I guess old acquaintances since my so called friends haven't even spoken to me since I left the Bella's, but regardless I don't need their pity. Smiling kindly at me I nervously look down. She is creeping me out, why is she being so nice. I don't want her pity!

"Don't worry white girl, I won't tell anyone." Breathing a sigh of relief, no one will know, Jesse won't know how much he really meant to me. I don't deserve him. So I guess it's all for the better.

"Thank you Kimmy Jin, I'm not entirely sure what you did but I know that you helped me. So thanks." Smiling she walks around her side of the dorm picking up a few things such as books, stationary. Oh. Right, she has class. In all honesty I have class but I can't be stuffed getting up. "Cya later Kimmy Jin." Waving she leaves me alone to my thoughts, not the best idea she's ever had but I don't think she particularly wants to be behind in class, I would understand if it weren't for the pain I was feeling in my heart.

Looking down at my phone I notice I have 20 missed calls, what the hell? Who called me? Turns out Chloe had called me, all 20 times all over the duration of last night and this morning. Suddenly my phone starts to ring in my hand, Chloe. Hesitantly I answered,

"Hello?" I could hear her gasp through the phone.

"Gosh Beca! I'm the one with nodes but you sound horrible, not surprising considering how much you cried last night when you called me! But still I've been trying to get a hold of you all night! Are you okay? What happened? You know what IM COMING OVER!"

Frantically I try to tell her no, that I'm fine. A complete and total lie but regardless she can't come over and see me not now. But she hung up the phone presumably one her way over. Sighing I figured she had seen me naked, maybe she was going to be a good help for me. Yes I accept help from people!

Suddenly there is a knock at me door and without me even saying a word the door flew open followed by an audible gasp and a chocking sobbing sound, from her or me I have no idea. But most likely her.

"OH MY GOD BECA WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED! WHAT DID HE DO? IM GONNA KILL HIM! IM GONNA GO OVER THERE AND KILL HIM WITH MY BELLA SCARF!" now don't get me wrong any other situation I would laugh my head off at her but if she did that that would only alert Jesse to my situation, and that can't happen not even if the sky was falling down.

But it was too late she was running out of my apartment, cursing I quickly threw on a jumper and chased after her. She cannot confront Jesse, he's done I'm done we are both done. He wants more and that is something I cannot give him.

Suddenly I hear pounding on a door followed by angry screams, dammit I'm too late. Groaning because of the awkward situation as well as my head, which in my adrenaline I completely forgot about momentarily.

"Jesse, stop being such a coward! Get your ass out here!" rolling my eyes at her antiques I decided to stay behind a corner I wanted to see something just what I'm not sure. Suddenly the door opened and I gasped at the sight of Jesse everything came back full blast, his rejection suddenly I didn't care what she had to say to him, because he won't care so why should I? I recognise my feet carrying me back to my dorm room, I need out of this situation, because he looks fine. He looks absolutely perfect, and I feel like a stupid idiot, why did I think he would care? He has no reason to. He's done, I'm done.

Jesse's POV-

I expected her friends to be upset at me, okay? I expected it. But what the hell? Chloe is giving me the scariest look I have ever received in my life, but what I don't understand is why is she crying? Sure she looks like she is just about to kill me with her bare hands but those are definitely tears of sadness pouring from her blue eyes,

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO HER?!" wow ok, angry Chloe. That's new she is usually the level headed one of the Bella's. But her question confused me, Beca didn't tell her?

"She didn't tell you? I thought she did consideri- wait if you don't know why the hell did you almost break down my door?!" Oh if looks could kill id be long dead and buried 6 feet under.

"Let's just show you something shall we?" she pulls out her phone while I looked at her confused, after a few minutes of fumbling with it trying to bring something up she clicks on something, I hear Beca's voice,

"Hey uh Chlo, I'm sorry about… well everything. I'm sorry I stuffed you guys up at regionals, please say you forgive me. For running out, I mean. You put your trust into me, you believed me and I failed you," I look at Chloe expectantly, what does this have to do with me exactly? My thoughts are broken again when I hear her say my name, "- Jesse said something to me, and I know the answer Chlo. I can't tell him though, he already hates me. What would be the point? The only person that I was beginning to care for and I made him run for the hills, the only person since well Mark. But that's a story for another time Chlo, I'm just so so so sorry!-"it was obvious that she had more to say but the red head pressed a button on her phone abruptly stopping the spontaneous speech, swallowing I ran my hands through my hair, that was not Beca. Or at least not a normal Beca, and who is Mark? And something in me just knew that she knew the answer to my question, which is why I told her I was done.

"Hey flat-butt! I need help! Like now! It's Beca!" with a final glare to me she ran off towards Beca's dorm, Amy stayed behind though and looked at me, I saw sympathy within her eyes and I rolled my own. "I think you'd better come too Treble." Reluctantly I followed fat Amy to Beca's dorm where all I could hear were sobs and a frantic Chloe trying to get inside.

"You! You're the reason that she is like this! So you FIX this!" Hesitantly I walk up to the door, looking at the others, "common Amy, she can't have a crowd right now let's go." She obviously looked reluctant to do this but for some reason it seemed she thought that this needed to happen. Knocking three times hoping she would open the door, for some reason.

Go away Chloe! I need to be alone right now!" Clearing my throat I put my head against the door leaning on it, "uh Bec its Jesse." Silence, that's all I hear on the other side, "please Bec we need to talk," suddenly the door flys open, and there she is, blood staining her sleeves, I'll ask her about that later.

"Oh so now you want to talk?! Now? What's changed Jesse? I don't need your sympathy or your pity, I don't want it! You're done, I'm done just leave me alone!" As she finishes a wave of tears overtakes her, and it breaks my heart to see how much I've hurt her. Without thinking I gather her into my arms and hug her, "no Jess you need to go, you said it yourself all I do is push everyone away from myself." I hug her tighter, I made a massive mistake. I should have known it was more serious than her just pushing people out. I should have known there was something bigger, "Jesse?"

"Yes you push people away, but this time I'm not going to let you."

AN: SO YOU LIKE? TBH THIS WAS NOT AT ALL HOW I IMAGINED IT WOULD TURN OUT BUT EH, IT HAPPENED AND IM TOO MUCH OF A LAZY PERSON TO CHANGE IT. HOPE YOU ALL LIKED IT! PLEASE REVIEW!


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